Damned if parenting any day isn’t hard enough, but add a global pandemic and you might find yourself in tears. I was lead to write this post because I recently conducted a live video on the topic at work. If you don’t know, not only do I host a podcast and own ”A Mom Minute And Some More Ish, LLC; I’m a licensed social worker too! So fitting for the sarcastic social handles I’ve chosen of “Oh I’m Just A Mom”, right? Anyways enough about me! Participating in this event, I realized how many parents are beginning to feel the pressures of navigating parenting and life through COVID. So here are just a few steps myself an my colleagues thought could ease the journey through these unchartered waters.
Connect Before You Correct
It is so easy for us as parents to see and address behaviors that are unfavorable, that we forget about connecting. Taking a moment to acknowledge that our children are human just like us is important. One way to work on connection is asking our child how their day went. This provides space for our children to have open dialogue about their individual experiences. Give your child some credit and know that they often have more insight on their day to day behavior and experiences than we think.
Be An Active Listener
Modeling active listening for our children is more important than you think. Having the ability to engage in discussion and listening to understand and not respond should work both ways in our homes. It is the foundation for our communication skills and will help them in their academic and future professional lives. When parents engage in active listening, we are seeking verbal and non-verbal messages to provide an appropriate response. This models for our children how to be attentive and shows mutual understanding during conversation. This may look like your child saying “I feel like you yell at me and don’t give me a chance to meet your expectations“. When engaged in active listening, a parent will say; “ what I heard you say was I yell at you before you have the opportunity to meet my expectations“. This demonstrates that you understand their concern. You don’t have to agree but acknowledge their feelings and show children that they are heard.
Protect Your Child’s Mental Health
Monitor, monitor, monitor!!!! I can not say it enough. Monitoring what our children digest daily is super important. The level of access adolescents and children have to information is light years beyond us millennial parents and baby boomers. Limit their exposure to “Pandemic Talk”. The unlimited amount of information and misinformation surrounding COVID is alarming and anxiety provoking for our children. Monitor internet usage, what videos does your child watch? What are they watching, listening to and who are their friends? Being in the know is key mom and dad. In addition, having routines and structure can reduce symptoms of feeling overwhelmed and anxious. Stay flexible and find new approaches for engaging with your child or children. This may look like scheduling a family activity once a month or engaging in physical health activities. Create a safe space for your children to express their feelings.
Parental Self Care
Hey mom and dad, it’s time to lay down the guilt. You are allowed to prioritize yourself and still successfully raise well rounded children! If you are not your best self, then you are no good for your children. Do you have a safe space? When the pressure of parenting becomes overwhelming or you’ve heard somethings that are difficult to process, how do you manage? Hopefully you have trusted adults you can relate to. Maybe you have a life coach or therapist. Carving out time for you is essential. So if you’re not engaging in a healthy self care routine, I encourage you to gain one.
We are all in this together and figuring out how to navigate our new normal. What I will say is we don’t have to operate as if it’s a pop quiz. We have the ability to learn from generations before us and take different steps. So let’s implement some systems, make safe spaces for our kiddos and take time to recharge. You, me, we got this!
peace and love!
Sky
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